twenty nineteen

i didn’t think it was possible but i grew even more in 2019 than i did in 2018. after reading through my year end post from last year i was shocked to see that this year was so much more magical than i could have ever imagined. life changed so immensely that sometimes those difficult times last year feel like a bad dream. how could i be so lucky to have had a year like this?

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january

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i started off the new year at my friend’s – a first for me. i kept enjoying time with my nephews and was still adjusting to living with my brother. i started wearing lipstick more often to try to boost my confidence, which included a trip to mac cosmetics. i learned that hot yoga was definitely not for me. i was excited to find out that i was officially cavity free, and started no longer fearing the dentist. fried oreos were my dessert obsession and i was still drinking much more than i should have been. i started a new volleyball team and even spent my birthday at my very first volleyball camp – though i was sore beyond belief afterwards. i was surrounded by so much love because all my friends and family celebrated me – which included many dinners, bubble tea runs, a korean spa, and a planned paint night. even with all this i still felt lonely – but i pressed on.

february

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february brought a new month of friends, the superbowl, and continued bar trips. my calligraphy and hand lettering started really getting noticed so the hobby became more solidified for me. my first single valentine’s day in ten years was tough, but i spent it with my mother and my girlfriends. on galentine’s day i went with leta to get our ears pierced and we both left with exactly what we wanted. along with volleyball, i started playing ping-pong with my nephews, i was not good at it. i threw my first surprise party and it was a complete success. after being very hesitant for a while, i went on my first date in a long time – it turned out to be a complete disaster and i felt like my heart was broken all over again. despite all that, i still spent time with my friends, trying to be strong. tony and i had our first friend-date, i didn’t know at the time he’d become so important.

march

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lots of shopping and adventures with pia – that’s how i started the month. i even began talking to tony more – though in my mind, he was completely friend-zoned. i was hitting the gym again consistently and i enjoyed some solo trips to delaware and richmond. seeing my long distance friends and my brother really brought me to life. tony and i kissed and he asked me on a real date – we went out a few more times after that. the help of my closest friends made me realize i was really falling for him, so when he asked me to be his girlfriend, i said yes. i sprained my ankle playing volleyball and learned how awful walking in a boot was. tony helped me move into my new place and i said goodbye to my brother’s house – i was finally completely independent for the first time in my life.

april

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i spent a lot of time with my roommate and tony. we played a lot of volleyball and ate a lot of fast food. cammy invited us out for an impromptu photo shoot in dc, and then we spent our first easter together. i enjoyed a reunion with some kappa sisters, and spent lots of time with leta for her birthday. i finally got my long-awaited hamster, naming her kofuku. i took my first bubble bath in over half a year, and got my second callback audition ever. i had a falling out with almost all of my volleyball friends, and felt extremely isolated, it was my first big low since i found tony. we had our housewarming party for our new house and i learned a whole new meaning of drama.

may

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i finally got cast in a musical for the first time in six years, and started rehearsals. i tried to keep up with the gym and volleyball, but i started to lose steam. i started painting my nails again, but caused them a lot of damage in the process (never again!) i became acquainted with today’s reality tv and learned that there was a whole world i never even knew about. i earned my first fxa trophy with my volleyball team and then because of the drama said goodbye to them, because the falling out never settled. i hit 100 followers on my blog which was celebrated with a girl’s day in dc. i started a tv series with family and played so much mario party. i deleted my snapchat, finally leaving that single-days-era behind me.

june

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june began the way it does every year – with herndon festival. i t wenwith tony for the first time, and we really enjoyed it. that was followed by more carnivals and festivals through the summer month and *almost* reaching my goal weight. rehearsals for how to succeed started picking up and i began dropping my gym habits again. i visited west virginia for a housewarming party and enjoyed playing with fire. my family had a much overdue mother’s day photo shoot – which tony joined us. relaxing pool days were accompanied with new construction projects at work. i experienced my first restaurant opening thanks to cammy and really enjoyed it. the month closed with a low, but tony helped me get through it.

july

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my second favorite holiday, independence day, came with loads of fireworks and impromptu volleyball. i donated blood for the first time and needed a lot of rest afterwards. i enjoyed the pool one last time before i became too busy, and even got to attend a starwars fan night! how to succeed opened and i learned just how much love and support surrounds me. i got a few etsy orders and started playing super mario 3 again. i was offered a job at lilly pullitzer and decided to start working part time again. tony was by my side through the entire adventure and we got even closer.

august

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i got my first cold since february so i was out for the count for a while. how to succeed closed and i made several friends that have since become very important. i experienced my very first death and lost my big in a car accident. the grief was such an unfamiliar sadness and i struggled with it alot. the funeral was especially somber. because of some of her blog posts, i started getting really passionate about plants. i picked up volleyball again now that the show was over and tried to spend more time with family. i reconciled with an old friend and a duo became a trio again. i auditioned for much ado and was beyond thrilled to be cast as my first lead. tony and i went to enjoy seussical and grease – causing our love for musicals to just grow. august ended with my company’s annual picnic and celebrating my brother’s birthday. it was an emotional rollercoaster, but i made it.

september

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i started working at lilly and my life became so busy that i was barely ever home. the only time i’d see tony was in the late hours of the night and i began drinking coffee to the point of exhaustion. i got my first flat tire and tony had to come to my rescue on the side of the highway. i ran my annual 5k, and made a decent time. i started a paint nite addiction and got new glasses. tony and i celebrated six months with a date night at the kennedy center watching cats the musical. i got to do my first pr photoshoot for much ado and dogsat leah for the first time. i was starting to feel like my life was really falling into place.

october

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i was so fatigued in october that i actually fainted. i was so overwhelmed with working two jobs and doing my play that i forgot to sleep properly. tony and i saw anne of green gables and went on a lot of dates. as i prepared for halloween, i started feeling a little more on track again. my company celebrated its sixteen year anniversary and i started to prepare our suite for the upcoming construction. i leaned on tony, a lot, and he even indulged me with couples costumes for halloween. i was so incredibly happy with him, i just couldn’t believe where i was after just one year.

november

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much ado opened and i finally got a little more time with tony. he celebrated by taking me out on our first date in a while. i got a horrible stomach bug and had to power through it during opening weekend. i curled my hair so much that i was so over it by the time the show was over. so many people came out to support me and i felt so incredibly loved. i pushed myself too hard and got struck with another round of fatigue, but it was worth it. thanksgiving came with some sad news, as we found out that ryan had passed away. i worked black friday and started to realized i didn’t have the capacity to work two jobs anymore. i went to yet another pageant and enjoyed reuniting with some very special people. i spent time in richmond with my brother and then painfully realized that i had gained back all the weight i’d lost since march.

december

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and the year ended with new priorities. i quit my job at lilly,  judged delmar’s first pageant, reassessed my goals, attended my second funeral, and began putting time with family and friends first. i set up my christmas tree with tony and we sent out our first round of christmas cards. i was completely surprised and delighted by tony when he asked me to marry him. the holidays were especially magical – i’ve never truly enjoyed christmas before. we took some time off and spent the eve with my family, and the following days with his. he took me around his hometown, i got to experience pittsburgh, played cards, saw a mummy exhibit (which i was beyond ecstatic about) and napped, a lot. we started talking about wedding plans, and now we’re closing out the year even more in love than ever.

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my top nine instagram photos from this year!

i can’t believe twenty-nineteen is over, but with everything that happened, i can’t wait to see what twenty-twenty has in store. i’ve found so much happiness and become so blessed through all my experiences this year. i found a loving partner, made new friends, found god again, and grew even closer to my family. i was able to get on stage again, advance my experience at work and gain a new perspective on life. happy new years to you and yours. i hope the new decade brings you all your dreams and more. Xx

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