twenty eighteen

2018 brought me so many new experiences, i don’t know how i’m going to recollect them all. so i thought i’d go month by month and share the moments that made them special. i also found it fatefully charming when i wrote this to discover that it’s also my one hundredth blog post. overall i’d say this year was one of growth and i’m immensely proud of who i’ve become and who i am becoming. lately i can say that i actually like myself, which, if you’ve known me long term, is a really big deal. people have come and gone, but i’m happy to say i’ve made more friends than i’ve lost – and i’d say each moment was much needed.

january

before my blog, i was only taking pictures for instagram. but out of all the pictures i took, i felt this one fit best. january was the height of my red velvet obsession, and i was eating cake almost every day. i got my wisdom teeth out, which was its own adventure. i started drinking coffee even more because i became a temporary manager at kate spade and was perpetually exhausted. it was also my birthday month, which meant a lot of sweets, snacks, and people showing me that they loved me.

 

 

february

i finally started my first set of goals, which made me start thinking about making a blog. i started learning japanese, i took lots of bubble baths, ate a my weight in poke, and took a fun trip to new york city with bae. i began reading again, and i binge watched a lot of tv shows. it snowed, and even though the month itself was dreary, there was a lot of love to be found because of valentine’s day. it was simple and calm, the way i think february should be.

 

march

looking back, it was probably a big turning point in my lifestyle. i started my blog, and that made me want to start doing things so i could have things to blog about. i wanted to become interesting. i started needle-felting again, enjoyed a long overdue photo shoot with my best friend, began focusing on my fashion choices, improved my pie making skills,  got a concussion, and got my first intense bruise. but despite the injuries, my life started to become more wonderful.

april

i really started to transform. i stepped out of my comfort zone with fashion, and expanded my style. i decided to leave kate spade, which was one of the toughest decisions i’ve ever made. i tried pore strips for the first time, and i baked my first pumpkin pie. i went on a beautiful hike, and what i wanted for my blog started to take shape.

may

i said goodbye to kate spade and this made way for a new love: volleyball. i started my very first season at fxa, and everything changed. i spent a lot of downtime on the couch watching bae play video games – which i maintain is still an excellent pastime. i visited my first firearms museum, and was amazed by the artistry of each piece. i got my first order on etsy in over a year. i even went to busch gardens on a double date- and had a terrific time! i felt like i was really an interesting person, finally.

june

summer came sweeping in with tons of nostalgia as i enjoyed another herndon festival. i started spending more time with family and steadily became more obsessed with volleyball. i began playing diablo season 14, and learned my perfect build for a demon hunter. i got to visit a historical home and learn how to fish. the warm weather didn’t beat me, and i still enjoyed quite a bit of time outside.

july

i got to enjoy the pool, and started becoming comfortable with my body. i completed my first season of volleyball, and proceeded to sign up for three more. i got in touch with my gaming roots and got the nintendo classic consoles. i hit two years at my company, my newest milestone! the end of the month brought a trip up to new york city, and even more sunny weather. i think it was truly the quintessential july experience.

august

i took chicken for her annual check up, and was told she was as healthy as could be. i finally learned how to sew with a sewing machine, and started re-purposing some old shirts. i tried color contacts for the first time, and started putting my foot down about the things i want. i learned the grief of being a volleyball captain, but also gained the ability to be firm.

september

my volleyball mania only got worse, and it transformed from a hobby to a lifestyle. i spent hours working on my serves, and started my four nights a week schedule. i ran a 5k, and actually got a decent time. i started going to the farmer’s market each week with leta, and we got even closer. i had to say goodbye to chicken, as we found her one night almost as if she was sleeping. i moved in with my brother, and struggled through my relationship problems, things were difficult but i started to learn independence.

october

halloween decorations started appearing everywhere, and i quickly became very excited. living with my brother and his family meant lots of time with my nephews, and learning how to sleep by myself. i went to a cat cafe, and enjoyed meows and snuggles. i began building up my friendships, and finally said goodbye to bae as we started to learn how to be just friends. and then i spent halloween with my new teammates, not knowing they’d become very important people.

november

i cried. a lot. and i drank. also a lot. and i began to heal. i experienced so many new things, like light festivals, food festivals, wine nights, friendsgiving, a solo road trip to richmond, and late nights at the bar with friends. i reunited with old friends, and remembered the things that were important before i was in a relationship. i made new friendships that will likely last a lifetime. i started focusing on myself, though begrudgingly at first, and because of that my blog had the best month yet. i started to figure out who i was.

december

and finally, i closed out this year with a completely different sense of self than i had before. i spent countless nights with friends, whether it was at the bar, hanging at someone’s house, or just loitering at a restaurant. i got to compete in my first volleyball tournament, and my sets improved so much. i ate so much korean bbq, played tons of pool, and finally started catching up on sleep. i started to feel whole, all on my own, and i’m so incredibly proud of that. i even got a little tattoo to commemorate who i’ve become this year. the last month of the year was filled with family and friends, and i couldn’t be happier.

2018 was the journey i needed, and i’m honestly very happy and content with it. i can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store for me. to everyone who has been there for me –  whether it was by being my friend, reading my blog, listening to me, or even sharing a smile, i can’t say thank you enough. there were definitely moments that i didn’t think i would last through, but, here i am. ❤