nothing more than feelings

my blog has always been the place i documented my happy moments. i’ve always wanted it to be a place where, despite the sad things, i could look back at all the wonderful things in my life.

but today i want to talk about disappointment.

i am so incredibly disappointed because this past weekend has brought a lot more challenges and terrible turns than i anticipated. and frankly, even though i am usually a strong and resilient person, i feel so utterly defeated.

a strong fear in my heart is that eventually i will lose the hopeless romantic in me, and become jaded from all the wonderful things that could possibly touch my heart. and if i’m being honest, i think i’m becoming dangerously close.

however, despite all this, i have an amazing group of friends around me who have been beyond supportive and loving. i feel selfish when i say that even though i am surrounded by kindness, love, and friendship, i still feel so painfully sad and can tell that my heart is hardening.

in such cases, what can one do? i want to believe this, too, will soon pass and i can look forward to the wonderful things in life again. but perhaps, sometimes, it’s important to just be sad and sit in the feeling for a while.

today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow. and today i’m just sad.