when reading one of the books i was recommended this week, i came across the thought “when does tomorrow become today?” i noticed that as a whole, people are always looking forward to something. when i look back on my own patterns, i noticed that if i don’t have plans or have something exciting coming up, i tend to fall into a low. why do we need distractions in order to maintain balance in our lives? not just on a small scale, such as a trip or a vacation, but for the bigger parts coming in life. i know i’ve been more than guilty of thinking, “when will he propose?” or “when will i have a family of my own?” and through that thinking, i never found today to be good enough.
even before i became more relaxed, i used to live by this set plan in my head – be married by this year, buy a house by this time, this is where i’ll put my kids through school. and because of that, all i did was set deadlines and stress. suddenly it wasn’t about the journey to my goals, it was what i had to get through to get to my goals. just two more years to go… just got to get through this last month until…
why do we live like this? why do i live like this?
this weekend, i went on a short walk with my boyfriend. there are nature trails in our backyard, and after only a mile, you can reach small lakes. we took our time, talking about various topics. steady pace, we made our way to the lake. usually on walks like this, i’m always busy trying to talk about plans, intentions, and rigid topics. but i tried to be more open, and for once, just enjoy this walk. i stopped thinking about all the things we had to do when we got back home. i didn’t ask him what he wanted to do later. i didn’t try to make this about the future. i just wanted to enjoy the brisk air, calm conversation, and the quiet noises made by the nature around us. for once, i just was.
today is today. tomorrow is tomorrow. it’s all going to be okay.