twenty twenty

it’s not really news when i say that twenty twenty was not what anyone expected at all. covid-19 took away a lot of the magic that this year had in store for us. i’m frustrated, just like everyone else, but somehow i’ve been able to find the silver linings that come with a truly unexpected year.

january

the new year started off with family. i had a lot of matcha ice cream – and i mean a lot. i started really planning for the wedding, stressing myself out getting my to-do-list ready. work was becoming so difficult to handle that my mood and mental health was really suffering. the construction project was really taking its toll on me. tony, my mom, and i travelled to richmond to spend time with my brother for his birthday. i finally came clean about how my birthday makes me feel. i gave blood for the first time, and i learned that it makes me really weak. i interviewed for the position at movista and was so excited to find out i got the job! then i closed out the month with my audition for mamma mia.

february

i found out i got into mamma mia and i was completely ecstatic. i went princessing for the first time ever and made my debut as princess jasmine. i spent my last few days at kajeet, feeling really bittersweet about the transition to a new job. rehearsals started to get into full swing and i was completely in awe by the amount of talent surrounding me. i went to see bloody bloody andrew jackson with tony and we really enjoyed it. i started my new job and fell in love immediately. my boss and i connected instantly and i really felt at home. i was able to finalize my venue, photographer, bridesmaids and wedding shoes. i helped my mom move and it was crazy how much stuff she had. tony and i went to see pirates of penzance; our first opera. and finally, we took my nephews out to dave and busters as a belated birthday gift followed by ashlee’s 7th birthday (she’s a leap day baby.)

march

march brought in even more mamma mia rehearsals and i loved every minute. tiffany and i had our annual spa date at spa world like always. and then that following week, things changed at a pace i couldn’t believe as everthing started shutting down one by one – covid had arrived in the us. leah started coming into work with me everyday because i was all by myself in the office. i gave yoga one more try – and remembered immediately that it really wasn’t for me. tony and i reached our one year anniversary and went on our last date before we really were stuck in quarantine. mamma mia was finally cancelled and i was absolutely heart broken. as quarantine continued, my mental health took a downward turn. i started a 2000 piece puzzle (the first of many) to try to combat the boredom. i hugged my mom for the last time for ten months. the days were filled with one piece and chinese food. i was able to get out briefly for a walk with leta and spent my days working on some commissioned chalkboards.

april

april was filled with zoom meetings and jackbox games. i was running almost everyday to keep myself from going crazy. i started sending out letters to my loved ones to make the quarantine a little less lonely. i tried giving blood again, but my iron count was too low, which spiraled me into another mental health slump. to try to keep busy, i got myself a nintendo switch and animal crossing. tiffany was thrilled as we started playing together every day. the only thing keeping me sane was working on my virtual island. tony finally said i could get a cat so i started searching for a cattery with balinese since i was allergic. i cut my own bangs for the first time in years – it did not go well. tiffany and i got used to talking every single day – we got even closer than ever.

may

may included even more animal crossing as my island started to come together. it was all i could do to stay okay. despite my best efforts, i kept getting worse and worse mentally. i went out for the first time in months to deliver my bridesmaids proposal gifts. that night, we met on zoom and i asked them to officially be my bridesmaids. my animal crossing island finally reached five stars. tony and i started practicing our bumps and sets for volleyball – it’d been over two months since we’d last played. i reorganized my pin collection and because of this i got even more to add to my collection. i finally got the last of my stuff from my townhouse and moved in with tony officially.

june

june was full of house projects as tony and i started to make the condo home. we painted, refinished the floors, and rearranged everything from me moving in. we spent many days sitting on the floor as we waited for our couch to come in. at work, i started preparing the office for our return to work plan – though covid kept us home much longer than we realized. i finally returned my mamma mia script, which broke my heart all over again. i went wedding dress shopping and found the one. tiffany and i started hanging out more in person and she quickly became irreplaceable. i finished my bridesmaids bouquets with help from my girls. tony’s parents visited and it was so great to have them. i made japanese curry for the first time – thanks to tiffany, and it was delicious. as the world attempted to return somewhat to normal, i treated myself to a pedicure with my girlfriends. finally, the month ended with our engagement photoshoot. the pictures turned out absolutely perfect.

july

in july, i finally got a much needed haircut. i got some pool time with tiffany which helped with my summer blues. leah had her first doggie playdate. tiffany and i started playing don’t starve together and a new obsession began. we also had a lot of fun starting to experimenting with makeup together. i started to lose someone really important and then realized that they stopped being important a long time ago. the month was filled with tiffany adventures and was mostly quiet – which in some ways was absolutely perfect.

august

in august, my kitchen aid stand mixer arrived. i started baking even more and it was both awesome and terrible. my mental health took a really terrible downward spiral and to try to get a change of scenery i spent some time in richmond with my brother. i started obe fitness, which i ended up falling in love with. i wigged up and enjoyed some makeup time with tiffany again. i got to have a little mini-party with my bridesmaids and it was the most fun i’d had in a while. i learned that i have cyclothymia and i was able to finally start taking control of my life. tony’s parents visited again and i was so thrilled to see them.

september

september included even more baking and time spent with tiffany. i began working out almost every day and obe fitness became a huge part of my routine. we visited my brother in richmond again to take a break from quarantine life. tony and i got a ton of switch games, and started playing together a lot. i picked up painting and had a lot of fun trying a different artform. tony and i finally hit the year mark for our wedding and we got even more excited. i had my first covid scare and it was so stressful. i was so relieved when it came back negative. i upgraded my phone and was stunned with my new camera. i finished my wedding arch and worked on more puzzles. and finally, i started prepping my halloween costume and pulled out my sewing machine again.

october

obe fitness was my life. i ran a 5k and got to see my family for a social distancing lunch outside. i finished my halloween costume with time to spare. i auditioned for a show for the first time in ten months, which was nice after so long. tiffany and i carved pumpkins together. i started having issues with my knees and because of that i couldn’t work out as much. tony got me a bike and i started biking around. cammy did a photoshoot of me – which i’m forever thankful. we decorated the house for halloween and even had a mini halloween party. we attended our first doggie birthday party and leah had the best time. i spent a lot of time with my family (at a distance) and it was really nice to be with them again.

november

november brought the election – and of course i voted. waiting several days for the results was very emotionally exhausting. i got to attend a special event for tiffany and get dolled up for the first time in a while. tony and i went wedding band shopping and got to go out for a date for the first time in a long time. i started going to the chiropractor and it was life changing. we decorated for christmas and it brought a lot of warmth to the house. thanksgiving included a change of plans and we found ourselves at home alone. but we did end up having a friendsgiving the next day – which was absolutely fun.

december

and the year ended with christmas cards, wrapping christmas gifts and prepping for our new kitten. i got the call suddenly that there was room for me in the current litter and i was so excited. we underwent another quarantine so we could meet up with our family during christmas and i was so glad to spend time with them. i did one more puzzle to keep myself busy. i got to watch cammy graduate pa school (i cried.) i baked lots of pies. i finally got to hug my mom for the first time since march. and to wrap up the year, i attempted making pho for the first time with tiffany (it was definitely a first try.)

my top nine instagram photos from this year!

and just like that twenty-twenty is over. i felt like this year was a complete wash, but after writing this i realize i accomplished and experienced a lot more than i realized. i’m so happy that this year brought hard lessons which i learned so much from. i feel so much more prepared to head into the next year with more strength and positivity. the year ahead includes a new kitten and my wedding. i’m hoping that the world will be closer to normal again so that more fun adventures can continue. wishing you a blessed twenty-twenty-one. Xx

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