i forgot how it feels to have my palms ache
to silently cry, careful not to make a noise
to fall asleep with my eyelashes damp
to clench my jaw so tight i fear my teeth may snap
to breath as slowly as possible so not to sniffle
to repeat to myself over and over “it’s okay”
to desperately hope that no one notices
i wish i hadn’t remembered.
kaffinejo's musings 